COIN PHRASES

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Mar
14

Why I write. (My reply to Jeff Goins)

A reply to Jeff Goins, here:

http://goinswriter.com/why-i-write/

I write…

Because I only know what I think when I write, and I only know what I feel after I’ve written, mused, and write more. I’m closer to what makes me, me. And what I want to say, to assert that.

To clarify, for peace of mind, to muse. So that when I express, my private thoughts have been given the right attention on paper, to both validate and let them free. I write to let go – I can only let go when I have written it down. That goes for to do lists, emotions and poetically annoying wisps that blind my sight when I have to focus.

For joy. When I write, with a greater control and freedom over what might happen to those words, I really feel joy. And if there is something I need to express – anger, sadness, desperation, happiness – it is all enhanced with joy when I write. Not necessarily directly about those things either – sometimes when I write something completely different, it seeps in and I recognise my intuition churning in mysterious ways.

Because… I just like it. And when I don’t like it, I don’t.

Because I’ve learnt to say no to writing.

I can only drive the supercar at a top speed when I know the brakes are working. To be a writer, I believe it is important to write, often, and deliberately and consciously not write. Both are important. You can’t be a writer without both. Or maybe I just can’t be me, without both.

Because I have a purpose, even if that purpose is simply art for art’s sake. Because morning pages and streams of consciousness refresh me like a shower that pours over the top of my thoughts and in the process, cleans them.

Because I flourish when I appreciate the words I use. And I flourish when I listen to a mastery of language. It is the highest beauty… that I appreciate. Maybe it’s different for others. But I know myself better when I absorb, and become inspired by, the best writing and performing of writing.

And I write…

To thank you, Jeff Goins. You’ve been an inspiration, although you haven’t known it.

 

Why do you write, create, or otherwise do what you do?

Please share with us, either in the comments, or on your blog and link to it below. <3

 March 14th, 2014  
 aleekwrites  
 Creativity, Writing  
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 0 Comment
Mar
07

On being lonely.

From the Coin Phrases archive. First here: 7/July/2013.

 

I want to write but I don’t want to be lonely. I get lonely.

 

When I have poured myself out onto the page or work in isolation, I look up in a haze for interaction to fill up.

 

Some writers like that. And I feel worse about it then. Like, I’m meant to like it.

 

Writers write to connect with people but the actual process of writing involves aloneness.

 

00688-funny-cartoons-writer

 

It might be my situation that is lonely and writing doesn’t help (although it does, once I do it – but afterwards, not so much).

 

Yes, real art and real writing is about real life and real pain and it’s brave and embarrassing and that is how I resonate and connect with you. And sometimes it’s braver to point out what’s good in a cynical world.

 

But on the other hand…

 

nobody-cares

 

A book written badly can be enjoyed by millions of readers. That’s connection, with the book, and with the other readers between themselves. Nice words don’t matter if you don’t have a story, a journey for the reader to experience, and you need to think about that before you write. You have to reveal it slowly if at all and seduce the reader to think and feel. Good writing is not even words. It’s thinking. Alone.

 

Losing a very social and great job at the same time as moving house are the two most stressful things in the world by objective standards. They were the most overwhelming and isolating things when I experienced them. And at that time, my partner preferred alone time while alone time for me was painful.

 

I looked up loneliness and I learned something. With self-awareness, it is a closeness to yourself and a distance from others.

 

I wonder if that’s true for work.

I love it at times and hate it at others. I’m a bipolar writer?

 

At the end of the day, when I haven’t made ends meet, I conclude I have nothing to show for my work and achievements pale in comparison to others. I forget why people read and why people write and then I don’t understand what I do.

 

That’s probably a sign. Often, people feel lonely when they put others first and they come second. Maybe that goes for my work too. When it feels bad, I need to put myself first and my work second.

 

I’m going for a walk.

 

And that… is why I have a resistance to writing freely these days. I know there’s a lot to work on in my life, and writing… just doesn’t help with that, any more.

 March 7th, 2014  
 aleekwrites  
 Creativity  
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 0 Comment
Oct
07

Snippets from my play (1)

These are a couple of snippets that were taken out of the play I am writing “Life, Death and Journalism”.

It’s in the second-third draft stage and needs work.

Jack is a journalist encouraged to resign by his editor after his own existential crisis on the point of journalism, and these are some of his doubts.

 

“So why are we doing this? Isn’t life more important than the barrage of news and words about news and everyone trying to get their by-line to the story first – where is enjoyment and art for art’s sake and play in all this? No one has time to even appreciate how tough it is to write quality, perfect stories and a badly written story is just as good anyway, all those writers craft in their rooms and for what? There is no stage for the countless hours of practising writing, just more lonely writing, it’s not like the hours spent practising Jimi Hendrix in his bedroom to play the guitar. Music is more enjoyable to listen to than reading harsh news.”

 

                              It’s just words, endless, unnecessary verbiage

                        Erudite and intellectual articulation of issues

                        That no one has time for

                        I don’t understand why people would consciously choose

                        To leisurely read the handpicked most painful, deliberately provocative,

                        Stories of today’s messy and stupid humanity

                        Crafted into a product and broadcast to masses of people

 October 7th, 2013  
 aleekwrites  
 Journalism, Play, Writing  
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 0 Comment
Aug
29

Creator-critic dog-fight. With added unemployment!

SCENE: ABOUT TO WRITE A POST

Tug of war. By pippalou

Tug of war. By pippalou.

VOICES PIPE UP IN MY HEAD.

Critic:                     Oh, hey dawg. What you up to?

Creator:               Writing.

Critic:                     You’re what? Writing what, exactly?

Creator:               Some things for my blog. Not sure yet, my thoughts and that.

Critic:                     So, let me get this straight. You’re unemployed – well, okay, ‘freelance’, but who knows what that means – and you’re choosing to sit in your room and write instead of get out there and get a job? Have I forgotten to remind you of your unemployment today – when blogging seems particularly ludicrous!

Creator:               Career wisdom says otherwise. Blogging during unemployment helped Brian John Spencer and blogging helped Krishnan Nair stand out and land a writing role. Also, blogging on a niche topic protects against unemployment, and this blog, featured in magazines, is about how to be jobless, as a journalist.

Critic:                     Oh, yes, and that’s worked out wonderfully for you. Anyway, have you actually tried anything to get a job?

Creator:               I’ve applied to a couple of hundred jobs online so far…

Critic:                     Online! You’re only applying online?

Creator:               That is actually how I secured several first, and second, job interviews, and tests, and as a result I was almost offered perfect match, professional, graduate jobs as a journalist, online community manager, bid writer, copywriter, researcher, marketing assistant…

Critic:                     But you didn’t get the job offers, did you?

Creator:               Meanwhile, I network in the arts and journalism at events, and I’m also starting to do things in the London poetry scene…

Critic:                     Unpaid work, blogging, and now you want to do poetry? So, I expect it would be stupid to ask you when you plan on getting a mortgage, plan for a wedding, or even think about a car?

Creator:               I have proofreading and transcription work to keep me afloat and I’ve applied for temping, retail and cafe work. I’ve been unlucky, but I’m trying.

Critic:                    And you’re still wasting time on that blog of yours.

Creator:               I like writing about the area I’d ideally, eventually, like to work in, or know about, or freelance for. I’m building an expertise, exploring what I like, and learning about people and art. I’m really interested in creative and artistic industries and the online world, and if I have a bit of time, I could really write good quality content and improve my writing and, while that takes a lot of time, I think businesses might like to employ me because I would be able to do it quicker or better than they can without me. Aside from that, I like doing it and seeing the results. If we don’t spend time on the things we love, what’s the point of life?

Critic:                     But look at you! You’re all serious – you call that doing something you love? When are you going to be happy? There’s no guarantee any of this is worth it, is there? I don’t think it’s worth it.

Creator:               I think it is. But does the burden of proof lie with me? Is it my job to ponder the worth of what I do, or just do it?

I’ve just finished a post.

Action wins.

 August 29th, 2013  
 aleekwrites  
 Blogging, Creativity  
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 0 Comment
Jul
14

Poem: Triple Dip

Triple Dip

A writer’s tale of the recessions

 

At the first dip my editor wanted me to move faster. With no time to love or study, I flew across the world in a hurry. But my work life flashed before my eyes when I was first at the scene of a crime. I saw the truck drive too fast and life cut too short and I ripped up my notebook of futility and thought. I felt too much to be objective about a homicide’s inflective.

 

At the second dip my editor wanted me to stay down. I wrote alone in a darkened room and withered away. I analysed obscurities and lost my spontaneity. I choked down cheap rum to mellow my protests as I pursued a career in a mess. I kept in line but eventually cracked at the limit of wasted time.

 

By the third dip, I wasn’t sure I needed my editor anymore.

I said my life is in progress and needs a first draft. Your edits to my freedom now seem rather daft. I keep my mistakes and my quirks and the pain that still lurks when I doubted I’d make it today. You want to digress but I define my own success and now I understand me. I had to kill the editor before the editor killed what I could be.

 

Life and work mooshed together in code.
Performed at Forget What You Heard (about spoken word).

 July 14th, 2013  
 aleekwrites  
 Poetry, Writing  
 , , ,   
 0 Comment
Apr
15

Here’s a new blog: This time, it’s serious.

This time, it’s serious.

I’ve been creatively and professionally lost recently. I’ve felt pretty worthless about that. It’s not all about money, and I’m pretty lucky in life, but as an independent adult with a penchant for meaningful work, I was stuck. I didn’t know what to do next.

(Aside from get bitter about the bad times. That kept me busy for a while.)

I wrote more. My notebook, with a geeky productivity system, allowed my thoughts to run free. I gave myself permission to drift, and with silly
(more…)

 April 15th, 2013  
 aleekwrites  
 Blogging  
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 2 Comments