Posted By aleekwrites
On being lonely

I want to write but I don’t want to be lonely. I get lonely.


When I have poured myself out onto the page or work in isolation, I look up in a haze for interaction to fill up.


Some writers like that. And I feel worse about it then. Like, I’m meant to like it.


Writers write to connect with people but the actual process of writing involves aloneness.




It might be my situation that is lonely and writing doesn’t help (although it does, once I do it – but afterwards, not so much).


Yes, real art and real writing is about real life and real pain and it’s brave and embarrassing and that is how I resonate and connect with you. And sometimes it’s braver to point out what’s good in a cynical world.


But on the other hand…




A book written badly can be enjoyed by millions of readers. That’s connection, with the book, and with the other readers between themselves. Nice words don’t matter if you don’t have a story, a journey for the reader to experience, and you need to think about that before you write. You have to reveal it slowly if at all and seduce the reader to think and feel. Good writing is not even words. It’s thinking. Alone.


Losing a very social and great job at the same time as moving house are the two most stressful things in the world by objective standards. They were the most overwhelming and isolating things when I experienced them. And at that time, my partner preferred alone time while alone time for me was painful.


I looked up loneliness and I learned something. With self-awareness, it is a closeness to yourself and a distance from others.


I wonder if that’s true for work.

I love it at times and hate it at others. I’m a bipolar writer?


At the end of the day, when I haven’t made ends meet, I conclude I have nothing to show for my work and achievements pale in comparison to others. I forget why people read and why people write and then I don’t understand what I do.


That’s probably a sign. Often, people feel lonely when they put others first and they come second. Maybe that goes for my work too. When it feels bad, I need to put myself first and my work second.


I’m going for a walk.

1 Comment found

    comments user


    Very interesting philosophical questions. I, too, have experienced the loneliness that comes with a creative pursuit (both in art and writing), and I think it happens like that because no-one else can see what’s inside your head, what you want to communicate. You have to work alone.

    Of course, not everything you publish will be a success, but that shouldn’t get you down. Just because they don’t see it now, if you’re successful later they will come back to what you did now. Keep writing, you never know what might take people’s attention.

    What struck me most is this sentence: ”At the end of the day, when I haven’t made ends meet, I conclude I have nothing to show for my work and achievements pale in comparison to others.”.
    I think that all too often we forget, not all victories are about saving the world. Just because you didn’t get a promotion like your friend, or win a marathon, doesn’t mean your own personal achievements mean nothing. So you wrote 2000 words, or plucked up the courage to answer that important email, maybe you found it difficult to get out of bed this morning, but you managed. These are all your victories, and just because it’s not as huge as some of your friends’ achievements, it doesn’t render them unimportant.

    Catherine // redmoonrabbit

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